disintegrate

rateTuesday, July 15, 2008Currently spinning : Take A Bow - RihannaCurrent mood : High !Hmm . I am back to blog . Woots . I hope i can be as diligent as what i am in school . A perfect role model . Hahs . Dreaming . . .Anyway somebody said that my post is always a long one . =.= . She didnt know who is YAP JIA MIN larh . Her post is like so much longer much longer than a 500 word essay ? Hahs . One thing i know i am smart . And you ? A smart ---------- alex . LOL . Boo !Morning was such a disgrace larh . Eh . I mean fun . Hahs . I accompany someone to school . She is such a tupiid pig and maybe a smelly one too . Hahs . Not like me aites . Such sweet smelling pig . See . I did say i am a pig . Hahs .Anyway her school is soooo lame . Mornning run ? I could see ants crawling instead of running bahx . I rather spent half the early morninng singing the national athem . Hahs . L.A.M.E . Understand ?Then bus-ed back to checkpoint . Cab to school . Blah blah blah . Lesson starts .English . The old V came in . Boring larh . She told us to do composition . In the end , the person sitting around me including me . We all didnt write any thing . Maybe they were better . They wrote 1 sentence . Me? Crush up the paper . AND shoo~ It flew right into the recyling bin .A-maths was annoying . S-V-A . Soong Very Annoying larh . Ass . 1 period lesson . Choose not to bring my textbook . For what ? Add to the heavy load in my bag ? And we didnt even learn much kays . For one thing , I am sure to flung my A-maths . NO POINT !Recess . Call my mum to bring the confirmation slip between 1 to 2 . Luckily she had the time . Thanks her alot larh . All the way down . And also copied some physics .Physics . Pretty well done for my practical . A first time full marks for the graph . Not to mention , the practical was pretty easy . By the time we finish going through , 50minutes had gone . =.= .Then was English . I joke alot larh . Hahs . So funny . Took the dictionary behind me . So when cher asked any vocabulary . I everything also know . Fun lehz . One stone kill two birds . Hahs . Anyway , 5.30PM Pokemon not nice larh . Hahs . CHILDISH . I also didnt watch Zack and Cody . Hahs . Boon Kiat don laugh hor . Childhood memories . YAY !Listening Comprehension . Such a relief . Kinda easy ? However , some tricky questions here and there . The answer was quite similar larh . Nevertheless , I completed it . DUH ~ 10 questions only . LOL .Wow ! Spent almost the whole evening in front of the computer . Time for a eye break . Some revison too . Bye peeps .Monday, July 14, 2008WOW !! Ng Yun Kwang is back on action . Welcome back to Kids Central . Hahs . Joking . Trying to learn from what i had spent during afternoon . A sweet tea break reading a romance storybook while listening to my lil sister watching Kids Central . Kinda lame . Hahs . But anyway i applied it . Cool aites ?School today seems so "blue" . Is there something called Monday blues instead . Hahs . Late for school in the early morning . A terrible jam . My gosh . Not to say the Spore police is not doing a goodd job in maintaining the order but seems like we students have to be affected daily . Waking up at 3 A.M ? Narh , i dont think is much of a use . So when i reach school at about 7.50 . The guard wanted our Ez-link card to take down our names . Like dogs , we listened . The security guard asked us "What happen at the causeway huh?" Sounding so sacarstic . I replied in a even sarcastic or maybe childish way "The bus bang each other and this corrupt the whole causeway" S.T.U.P.I.D . How would we know ? Of course , using the smallest cell of your brain will know we are sleeping on the bus larh . Tsk tsk tsk . No wonder they are security guards . P.S : Not i despise them kays .The lesson seems like a 20 period instead of 2 periods . Somehow i could not tolerate but to sleep or talk . Recess is like the best afterall . Hahs . I-don-know . English lesson was the worst . What oral is the Dzarina talking about? I don understand at all kays ? Like you practise with your friend . Uh huh? Sad to say that . I think we joke more than we practice . I hate English lesson . It seems the whole class is so noisy that i want to join in the fun . LOL .After school . YAY-ness baby . Hahs . I was retain to do some English compo . Together with Gerald , partner in crime . We rush through the 1/4 done essay using like 30min? Darn . I don think can even get a F for that larh . Unless she is a moron . Taxi-ed back to woodlands centre . Sat at the lan for nothing . Listenin to some songs and CBH . Manfred , you know what i mean eh . Hahs . After day dreamin for about 20minutes . I thought i was gonna be late . Ran all the way to the waffle shop to buy baby's favourite peanut waffle . Wanted to buy bubble tea for her but because of the time constrain i didnt . Next time ? Hahs .Reach checkpoint , call baby . Realise i was 30min earlier . Damn it . It was ages before i took the afternoon bus . Nevermind , sat at the stairs to continue reading the storybook . Read read read . Bus came got up . Pass baby her waffle . She told me bus uncle say cannot eat . =.= . Wah . You expect us to have "iron" stomach ? Not to say . Somebody never finish the waffle larh . Blah blah blah . Home sweet home . Its 10.50 now . I am rushing through my physics homework > OH MY TIANN .See ya guys . Nights .Monday, July 7, 2008Time check 11.55PMThe second post before dawn arrived . Baby being baby . I had been reading her stories and poem since the last one hour . Think it will be hard not for me to score a high band in the reading section in oral anymore . Hahs . A goodd practice . W.A.I.T ! I wanna drink 1 pool of water NOW ..............Waiting for the last call from baby and i am going to sleep . She wanted me to read her th story on my blog before she sleep also . =.= . Baby , you are growin xxx larh . Don eat any more doughnuts kays ? Everything give me . Hahs . I so greedy . XPPAnyway . I think i will be opening champagne later on . Or maybe a vodka . Guess what ? Is the 101 post . OH MY TIANN~ I didnt realise i would have so much patience on blogging which seems to be so troublesome . Hahs . Er . Or maybe i am not constantly blogging everyday ? I-don-know . Oops . The growing baby is calling . Nights .CIAO .HAPPY 15 BIRTHDAY BABY !! (baby don act hor . i 16 lerh . jkjk)Out today studyinq . I am a A-math siao . Find it so weird saying this . Had been hating or mayb i should say not bothering about A math since th first day . Anyway i had master how to do differentiation . Hope i spell it correctly . Some achievement . Woots~ And also i completed th social studies application question and geography worksheet . I nvr let Mr Roy down . A goodd boy . Hahs . Fruitful day .Stupidd baby . Kamgong since th day i met her . She didnt tel me she can go out til the last 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 minutes . Yeap 30 minutes . Is so late lerh can? . If not i would hab celebrated her bdae wit her . =.= . Nvm . There is always tomorrow . Right?So after studyinq . Went to shopped for baby bdae present . Hope she like it . I mean she MUST like it larh . Hahs . I don care hor baby . You must like it . Being a noob at buyin present . So i walked walked walked for one and a half hour . With th help of Jing Ting for accompanyin me into those "girlish" shop and under her constant nagging at " Can you please be don so fussy?" . I bought a present . Bus-ed back home at bout 5PM .So here i am . On the way back home , read Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul . Come across this which i think is funny . It goes :"He's teaching her arithmetic ,He said it was his mission ,He kissed her once , he kissed her twice and said ,"Now that's addiction."And as he added smack by smackIn silent satisfication,She sweetly gave kisses back and said ,"Now that's subtraction."Then he kissed her , she kissed him ,Without explaination , And both together smiled and said , "That's multiplication."Then Dad appeared up the scene and Made a quick decisionHe kicked the kid three blocks awayAnd said , "That's long division!"Got to go for some mapling now . Adios .Saturday, July 5, 2008Bonjour ! I am back . YAY-ness . The long awaited weekend has long arrived . Yeah . A "long" weekend . Hahs . So . For th weekdays , I had spent most of my time wit either baby or in th study camp . Maybe most of th time wit baby . I-don-know ? Hmm . However, th next week won be th same anymorr . I promise and swear not to skip any sessions of th study camp . Goodd boy aites? Hahs .Aye , so lets start on what happen today . Woke up early in th morning at bout 7.30 . I was like OH MY TIANNN~ . Took a look at the form given and it stated 8AM must reach . Do th every morning routine . Bath, brush teeth, change clothes and blah blah blah asap . Not to elaborate . So i rush to Malaysia checkpoint . A time check 07 55 . Left 5 more minutes . Quickly message Jia Min. Told her to tel Mdm Aishah i will be late for 15minutes .Then, rush rush rush chiong chiong chiong all th way to school . Time check 08 17 . Quickly run up to th computer lab . Firstly i bang onto Mdm Aishah . A face of guilt i said "Good morning Mdm Aishah, Sorry i am late." She told me to gave her my thumbdrive and i surrender it for her to checked th contents inside . Walked towards boonkiat and asked him why are they sitting outside? . And he told me 9 clock then start . Ji tao sian diao . =.= . Found out Jia Min haven reach also .Started on my Coursework B. Everything was going smoothly . Anyway i di siao Ms Nadia . Sooo fun . Hahs . Not going to say wat happen . Hahs . So when the coursework was halfway through at bout 10 Jia Min msg boonkiat and say "Got re-test de mahx?" Something like that . Hahs . So i tel boonkiat to reply her " U go cambridge beg and ask lor . Mayb got" Hahs . But he didnt . =.= .After coursework , went Admiral Park . 12 clock went cwp meet baby . Acc her frene to cinema buy tickets . A time consuming dicussion between us on where to go . Decided to go back Malaysia t hav our lunch . Slack at some staircase . Totally bored . Sat there for bout 1hour +? Baby gave me th tired look. Seriously, i don like it. So i don care much. Slept at th stairs. Woke up blur blur . Went back home . Then Mum suddenly called . " Faster come back, i wan go out hav Kfc liaox" LOL . Then i quickly rush back home . Thats all . Tomorrow will be a day out studying . Damn it . I hate it but i hav to do it . Perseverance is all what i needed . Hahs . I think mayb takin th cod-liver oil Mdm Aishah hav gave really boost my brain power . Infer it from th time . Its 11.35PM now. I stil got th energy to blog . Hahs .CIAO !Sunday, June 29, 2008Recently i had been so obsessed with this song .Saturday, June 28, 2008A story to share :D"On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was thenplump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.This was the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid,I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me frombehind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs. Herwords suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wifesaid, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn t help doing so.I moved Dew's hand aside and said, You go to select some furniture,O.K.? I ve got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At themoment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matterhow mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly,she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew’s body. This was the means of my entertainment.One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn t imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we livetogether. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I ve got somethingto tell you, I said.She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly.She didn t seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? . I m serious. I avoided her question. This so-calledanswer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!At that night, we didn t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardlygive her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which statedthat she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart.The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn t want anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one months time before divorce, and inthe month s time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.I nodded and said, I remember . You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.I told Dew(BITCH) about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.My wife and I hadn t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for along time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.I didn t tell Dew about this.I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it s time to carry mum out. He said.To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.Our son had gone to school. She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn t notice that our lifewas lack of such intimacy.I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won t divorce. I'm serious.She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not becausewe didn t love each other any more. Now I understand that since Icarried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out everymorning until we are old."Sad aites? Third time reading it .